“So what do I do, just break it open?” Mami asks George as she carefully opens the box marked Conversing Fortune Cookies. George has been excited about this new invention of his for a while now...something that he has done especially for Mami to cheer her up since she became ill.
“No, all you have to do is open the packaging and it will do the rest for you, Mami.” George shows her the side of the box as his face beams with pride and hope. He cuts his eyes at me and winks. I am very proud of him.
“I do not see anything special about them. They are just plain fortune cookies.” Mami squints at the box and places it back on the kitchen table as Baba, George, and I wait anxiously for her to rip the packaging to one of the cookies.
“Be nice, Mami! George created these especially for you, to cheer you up.” I tell her as I can barely wait much longer. She is doing this on purpose, taking her time and making us all wait to see George’s new invention. In her own way she is playing hard to get when it comes to Mr. Weasley. For some reason she does not want him to think she likes him now, but I know better. I know she does.
“Just open the packaging and see. Go ahead...go ahead.” Finally Baba speaks and Mami looks up at him from the overturned box of fortune cookies, each individually wrapped. She selects one and looks at each of us in turn before she grips the edge of the clear covering to remove the traditional mouth-shaped crispy biscuit. She holds it in her hand for a moment after George instructs her to wait and listen. But then she suddenly drops the cookie on the table.
“It moved!” she gasps. “It moved in my hand.”
All eyes turn to the little cookie on the table and we watch in awe as it rolls upright on its side and begins to speak, the sides of the cookie moving and imitating a human mouth. Its voice is that of an old man, thick with a Chinese accent...
“Treat everyone as a friend.” Mami, Baba, and I sit gape-mouthed in surprise and turn to George. But before any of us can speak, the cookie begins to talk once more, having only paused a moment before finishing its task, “...Between the sheets.”
“That is very funny, ha, ha!” Mami chides George as Baba and I laugh loudly. Even though she pretends to be insulted, Mami has trouble masking her amusement.
“Oh, good. I’m so glad you like it.” George chuckles.
“Your turn, George.” Mami shoves a second cookie into George’s hands. He looks around the table before he opens the wrapping, places the cookie on the flat surface, and waits patiently.
“You are talented in many ways...between the sheets.”
“Well then that explains why Cho likes you so much.” Mami answers while she stares at the now still and silent confection. “I was beginning to wonder what she saw in you and now I do not have to be concerned about this anymore.” Then she begins to laugh at George as he looks at her in confusion. “Got you, George!” she laughs.
“Mami! I cannot believe you!” I scold my own mother, only to burst into laughter myself as I finish speaking. I turn to look at George and see the delight on his face. I know it means the world to him to be able to make my family laugh and be happy together during this time in our lives.
“Your turn now.” Mami places a packaged cookie into Baba’s hands. “Do not think you will be able to avoid it.” She smiles and pats his hand. Baba quickly opens the wrapper and places the biscuit on the table top just before it begins to speak.
“A handful of patience is worth more than a bushel of brains...between the sheets.” There is silence at the table for a brief moment before Mami speaks.
“Yes, you always were a patient man.” The look that passes between my parents is a tender one, but one that transforms into gales of laughter in a matter of seconds. I cannot remember the last time my family sat together and had such fun. As soon as everyone catches their breath Mami directs that it is finally my turn. I make short work of the wrapping of my cookie and wait patiently for my fortune to begin.
“You will reach the height of success in whatever you do...between the sheets.”
“Well that’s a relief.” Mami’s voice precedes another roar of merriment. When the laughter dies down Mami gives her regrets and Baba helps her to bed. He thanks George for the thoughtfulness before he retires with my mother. George and I walk hand-in-hand out to my flat.
“It was good to see her laughing like that. It felt good to sit together as a family and laugh like that. Thank you, George.” We undress in the glimmering candlelight and ready ourselves for bed.
“It’s good to see you happy and smiling again. I have a surprise for you.” He tosses me another fortune cookie and I catch it in one hand, even in the dimness of the room.
“Nice reflexes!” he replies suggestively. “Open it,” he refers to the cookie, “It’s specially made for you.” I open the wrapping and place the cookie in the palm of my hand and wait for it to begin speaking my fortune.
“You will be taken to new heights of pleasure by your lover’s enormous cock.” I smile and look across the bed at him. “X-rated talking fortune cookies?” He nods, a smug grin on his face before he opens a package for himself. He gently places the cookie in his hand and pauses in anticipation.
“You are about to receive the most splendid blow job.” As the cookie becomes silent George looks up at me lasciviously.
“George, I think I like these new inventions of yours...”